The Sight of Love by Kyle Shoop

Author:Kyle Shoop [Shoop, Kyle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-02-04T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12

“Hold still, almost done.” Ethan said while putting the last touches on his newest painting.

“C’mon, dad – I’m getting tired.” Complained Violet. “I’ve been sitting still for an hour.”

“I know, girly, but I’m so close. Just a few more minutes - please.”

In the final moments of her patience, the six-year-old noticed something about her dad which she hadn’t noticed in the hour that she’d held still.

“Dad, you look funny when you paint.” She remarked bluntly. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” He asked while still fixated on the final strokes of his daughter’s portrait.

“You don’t actually look at me or the canvas – you, I dunno – you look to the side.” Again with the bluntness that only a young child could have, Violet remarked: “You look funny.”

It’d been a year since Ethan discovered his handicap. In that year, he’d pressed on with two things.

First, he learned to compensate for the lack of direct vision by using his peripheral vision even more. He’d become so natural at this that he often even forgot that he was looking to the side. But still, as each month passed by, the cloudy haze in the middle of his eyesight slightly expanded. He knew he had to accelerate the speed in which he painted his family members if he was going to reach the desperate goal he set for himself. It’s due to this desperation that he pleaded for his young daughter to sit still for just a few moments longer.

The second thing which Ethan pressed on with during the last year was something that he was admittedly ashamed of. He persisted with not divulging his blindness to his family – and it especially pained him to keep it from Rose. But the longer that he went without revealing his handicap, the longer that he felt like it was somehow okay. He knew it wasn’t. Some days his limitations wore so frustratingly heavy on him that he wanted to blurt it out to Rose the moment he saw her. But he never did. Perhaps it was because he knew the weight of the burden and sought – through love – to not place that weight upon his family. Perhaps it was because he felt that the longer it went without him telling Rose, the more likely he wasn’t just revealing his blindness but also his lie – as though the issue had compounded and he didn’t have the guts to reveal it all. Or perhaps it was simply because Ethan was embarrassed. Ashamed. And he was. Deeply.

He knew it wasn’t his fault that he had begun to lose his vision. But he still did. He was an artist without the ability to see. He was also an art connoisseur and gallery owner without the ability to see the art that hung on his walls. Without his art, he often felt as though he had nothing. And without his sight, he could not have his art. So, to admit that he could not see was – to Ethan – to admit that he no longer had anything.

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